Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.
Because when push comes to shove, I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love.
Smartphones are the new pacifiers
I've got some new rubbers, so it's ok to sow my wild oats if it gets too wet in the field.
I am terrified of elevators. I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them.
I've fallen for you so hard, I can't think straight.
So what's your moisture level?
You make me want to spend the rest of my meaningless life silently despairing over the thought that you'll find a better man than I and take the kids when you leave.
There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back home.
You have to be flexible to work here. On many occasions, you'll be asked to bend over and grab your ankles.
Wanna come over and watch Left Behind?
I've got quick hands, a fast horse, and strong arms that can hold you tight all night long.
You're so repulsive, it's a wonder flies don't swarm around you like you're a decomposing corpse.
My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google office and ask them shit in person.
Why doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job? He still ends up with the same boss.
What was Forrest Gump's email password? -- 1forrest1
I will curry on loving you, for as long as life will aloo me.
Database Admins walked into a NoSQL bar. A little later, they walked out because they couldn't find a table.
What's the difference between a 16'' pizza and a musician? -- A 16" pizza can feed a family of four.
Boy: Mommy, can I have a dog for Christmas? Mommy: No you'll have turkey like everyone else.
