Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
I assert dominance over millennials by responding to their texts with phone calls.
What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.
If I had a nickel for every day I've been wanting to be with a girl like you, I still wouldn't be able to pay off my father's crippling gambling debts that tore apart my family.
You're so repulsive, it's a wonder flies don't swarm around you like you're a decomposing corpse.
Boy: Mommy, can I have a dog for Christmas? Mommy: No you'll have turkey like everyone else.
What's the difference between a 16'' pizza and a musician? -- A 16" pizza can feed a family of four.
So what's your moisture level?
I heard you like bad boys? Well I'm bad, at everything.
You have to be flexible to work here. On many occasions, you'll be asked to bend over and grab your ankles.
Database Admins walked into a NoSQL bar. A little later, they walked out because they couldn't find a table.
Wanna come over and watch Left Behind?
I've got some new rubbers, so it's ok to sow my wild oats if it gets too wet in the field.
I've fallen for you so hard, I can't think straight.
There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back home.
My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google office and ask them shit in person.
I will curry on loving you, for as long as life will aloo me.
I am terrified of elevators. I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them.
Smartphones are the new pacifiers
What was Forrest Gump's email password? -- 1forrest1
You make me want to spend the rest of my meaningless life silently despairing over the thought that you'll find a better man than I and take the kids when you leave.
