Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
If you were a food, you'd be bacon, because you're fat.
Want to play TSA officer and pat me down?
Gal yuh too sweet, spend some time wid me suh some ah you sweetness rub off pon mi.
Hey girl, I have a unreturned library book that I want to read to you tonight.
Your lips are like wine and I want to get drunk.
Your appearance is so repugnant, it could make a sewage treatment plant smell like a field of roses.
Are you a football chant? Because I can’t help but cheer for you.
Are you a tackle box? Because you’ve got everything I need for a good time.
You must be a silo, because you keep all my love safe and sound.
Are you a current tester? Because you make my heart skip a beat.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? To be or not to be roasted, that is the question.
The two congressmen disagreed about what sort of pan should be used to cook pancakes. Another example of griddlelock.
How'd you like to help put the Irish Spring back into me step?
I can last longer than a jet engine.
We have been commanded to multiply and replenish the earth.
Hey, haven’t we had sex in the bathroom at Green Room before?
Are you a football draft? Because I choose you to be my MVP.
If you were a fish, you'd be a trophy catch—one in a million.
Are you fresh milk? Because you’re the cream of the crop.
You must be my electric bill, because I’d spend anything to keep you close.
