GotLines - Pick Up Lines, Jokes and Insults

Funny Puns - Part 57

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

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The Best Puns

I was going to have my hernia operation last June, but the surgeon was on summer hiatus.
When the orchard owner went to trial he was judged by a jury of his pears.
Would a Mormon working for the Postal Service be a Letter Day Saint?
The comedian stopped at the fabric store on his way to a comedy gig. He was looking for new material.
I hear the Sylvester Stallone Film Festival got off to a rocky start.
He's got a phonographic memory. He repeats the exact same old lines like a scratched record.
I was studying in an apiary class. This resulted in me receiving a bee on my exam.
Why was Farmer Brown angry? Someone got his goat.
Short-order cooks in busy restaurants call themselves 'pressure cookers'.
What do you call a bald monster? A lock-less monster.
The statistician attended the dance stag. He didn't have any data.
When Jesus entered Jerusalem, people waved palm branches because they were being frondly.
Superfluous refers to a bad case of the flu.
Some people marry for love, others for wealth. That's why it is called match or money.
Deep cuts were made in the guillotine industry and heads rolled.
My pet bird can predict the future. He is an omen pigeon.
I don't use too much wine in making charosis for Passover, lest I get charosis of the liver.
My girlfriend once gave me a Valentine made of soft leather. What a suede heart.
Which illness are witches most prone to? Crone's disease.
Those simian figure skaters are very good. They make prime eights.

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I was going to have my hernia operation last June, but the surgeon was on summer hiatus. When the orchard owner went to trial he was judged by a jury of his pears. Would a Mormon working for the Postal Service be a Letter Day Saint?