GotLines - Pick Up Lines, Jokes and Insults

Funny Puns - Part 55

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

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The Best Puns

A prefix is what a man does just before his wife has a word with a tradesperson.
I think I'm going to hire the same landscaper I used last year - he was really easy to get a lawn with.
Children who fail their coloring exams always need a shoulder to crayon.
An instructor at an ice cream parlor is a sundae school teacher.
I was nervous before hernia surgery. My stomach was in knots.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
To err is human, to moo bovine.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
If electricity comes from electrons does that mean morality comes from morons?
I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
Is a big book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
The radio station that played particularly good music was a rare medium, well-done.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Australian beer is made out of kangaroo hops
Pornography? We don't even have a pornograph!
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

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A prefix is what a man does just before his wife has a word with a tradesperson. I think I'm going to hire the same landscaper I used last year - he was really easy to get a lawn with. Children who fail their coloring exams always need a shoulder to crayon.