GotLines - Pick Up Lines, Jokes and Insults

Funny Puns - Part 52

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

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The Best Puns

The geologist went to the doctor because he had a loss of apatite.
You should always use basil the day you buy it - as they say, herb today, gone tomorrow.
I knew the little guy was going to play a prank on me, because of my sense of imp portents.
The inventor of pantyhose really left us quite a legacy.
'I am presently employed', said the gift wrapper.
In attempting to cook Japanese food, I bento ver backwards learning proper technique.
Accountant is a royal insect.
The haughty magician had illusions of grandeur.
While I was repulsed by CPR I didn't have the heart to tell the medic.
There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.
A roofer got arrested recently. He flashed a chimney.
The beauty queen is unhappy about her upcoming foreign tour. She will miss America.
A bunch of robins followed the priest wherever he went. Birds of a father flock together.
The English gentleman could not play cribbage. You can't put a squire peg in a round hole.
When the Grim Reaper sweeps through, we have a brush with death.
If I drink a lot of Geritol am I consuming a fossil fuel?
I have been blogging about my recent surgery and recovery from abdominal surgery. I call my blog 'The Chronicles of Hernia'.
Sinkie The international association of people who dine over the kitchen sink.
Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
Iamb a poet.

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The geologist went to the doctor because he had a loss of apatite. You should always use basil the day you buy it - as they say, herb today, gone tomorrow. I knew the little guy was going to play a prank on me, because of my sense of imp portents.