GotLines - Pick Up Lines, Jokes and Insults

Funny Puns - Part 49

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

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The Best Puns

I was fixated on the pain in my bad tooth. I was abscessed by it.
That religious fellow fell for the same scam two times in a row. He is a burned again Christian.
The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.
My blind date's not looking good.
The policemen said if I didn't pay my library fine he would have to book me.
An embrace at a nudist colony is a bare hug.
A relief map shows where the restrooms are.
The preacher annotated his hymn book making it a guided missal.
I have always wanted to hand out carts at Wal-Mart. I cannot imagine a greeter job.
While practicing the drums in the bassment, the boy fell, hit his head, and got a percussion.
There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.
The man shed a tear as he saw his old storage space come down.
Hannibal crossed the Alps because it was safer than crossing the elephants.
Digest is morbid humor.
The tale of the haunted refrigerator was chilling.
My friend is very paranoid. He says people are either foe him or against him.
The two congressmen disagreed about what sort of pan should be used to cook pancakes. Another example of griddlelock.
When the church relocated it had an organ transplant.
When I saw the White Cliffs of Dover, I realized that the old saying was true. Chalk is steep.
The manicurist went back to college to become a veterinarian. She was great at giving a pet a cure.

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I was fixated on the pain in my bad tooth. I was abscessed by it. That religious fellow fell for the same scam two times in a row. He is a burned again Christian. The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.