Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
The best way to make a baseball bat is to carve it by hand. Using a machine is just lathe-y.
The state legislature could not decide whether to fund the water control project or the all weather stadium. It was a no win situation. Dammed if you do, domed if you don't.
I've never made an incomplete pass, and I hope you won't be my first.
Call me William S. Burroughs, because I want to Naked Lunch with you.
You know, our parents engaged us when we were little… I guess they forgot to tell you.
I want to sweep you off your walker and into your wheelchair.
Hey girl, do you raise cattle? Cause those are some nice calves.
When you speak, its like 1000 horns all in tune.
Hey girl, tuna round and let me see that bass.
Are you sunscreen? Because you’re the only one I want to rub all over.
I didn’t expect to find a reason to celebrate beyond midnight—but here you are.
A red blood count is a communist vampire.
I was terrified anaesthetising my first big cat, but I had to feel the fur and do it anyway.
You must work in a library because you just increased my circulation!
You're like chutney… you spice up my life!
Your company is so delightful, I'm contemplating putting a new battery in my hearing aid.
Do you believe in love at first set, or do we have to run it again?
Is your name Ariel? Because we were meant to be part of each other’s world.
If tonight’s about starting fresh, I’d love to start something with you.
You must be a PVC pipe, because you’re flexible and perfect for my life.
