Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
Protein, did you say protein? I have endless amounts of protein if needed.
The World's Sexiest Vegetarian is looking for models, can I submit your picture?
Wanna come up and see my Vitamix?
Wanna go to the grocery store and read labels?
What's your favorite thing to do with agave nectar?
Ya wanna mix vitamins?
Your organic shirt looks great on you, can I touch it?
Boy if you were a vegetable, you'd be a cutecumber.
Forget the vegan jerky; I'll do some primal stripping for you any day.
Hey baby, wanna come over and scramble my tofu?
Hey, babe, how about some of this late summer veggie gazpacho?
How vegan are you again? oh I can be advised about nutrition for hours.
I've been looking for a seitan worshipper like you my whole life.
I've heard that I taste like nooch--wanna confirm?
Meat is murder, but meat's gonna make you scream.
Sure I could buy you a drink, but I'd be jealous of the glass.
Hey! You owe me a drink. I dropped mine when you walked by.
I see you've got some tequila's. Does that mean you wanna give me a shot?
I think all the bottles in this bar must be jealous, cause your beauty is the most intoxicating thing in this place.
What do you say I buy the booze and you show me how to shake it.
