GotLines - Pick Up Lines, Jokes and Insults

Funny Puns - Part 31

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

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The Best Puns

Just after thimbles were invented there was a shortage, so many people got stuck without one.
Broken puppets for sale. No strings attached.
The home for rich squirrels is The Nutcracker Suite.
After the first hamburger press was made and became very successful, the inventor got a patty on the back.
The animals at the zoo started rioting. A porcupine was brought in to quill the uprising.
I wanted to buy my wife some fancy soap, but she would not have a bar of it.
Police found a criminal shot to death with exit wounds but no entry wounds. It was an inside job.
He made a slow start in the sport of weightlifting but he picked it up eventually.
Did Gregor Mendel ever win the Nobel Peas Prize?
At the petting zoo I saw a sheep scratching itself. Turns out it had fleece.
Bring about is what a boxing promoter does.
I thought I packed a memory card for my camera, but I forgot it.
The 'Star Wars' character was nicknamed 'Coffee'. His real name was Java the Cup.
Sailing is like oil drilling because they're both crewed businesses.
I tried talking about our future but she just kept bringing up my past. It was a tense conversation.
The cannibal hitman preferred take out food.
You can raze a tree with a lumber jack.
I really regretted the inconsiderate comment I made. It was rued.
My father's father wanted to know if he could stay with the company in spite of the many changes. They ended up grandfathering him in.
Since I've taken the job in The Everglades I've been swamped!

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Just after thimbles were invented there was a shortage, so many people got stuck without one. Broken puppets for sale. No strings attached. The home for rich squirrels is The Nutcracker Suite.