GotLines - Pick Up Lines, Jokes and Insults

Funny Puns - Part 37

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

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The Best Puns

When the ornithologist gave his neighbor the bird he went into flight mode.
In an effort to smooth things over and resolve their differences one gladiator said to the other, 'Let's bury the hatchet and go clubbing'.
A taxidermist specializes in skin for cabs.
My foul language has become routine. It is par for the cuss.
I am always sad when I go to the dentist, so I put on music and listen through my blue tooth headphones.
Shakespeare spent so much time at the Globe Theater because he was bored of Avon.
Eugene O'Neil once wrote a play about a visit from an optometrist. He called it, 'The Eyes Man Cometh.'
It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.
The trapeze artist had to buy his own safety equipment. Every Friday he drew his net wages.
The dermatologist and his wife enjoyed the backyard BBQ, while their children played a game of skin tag.
When a woman returns new clothing, that's post traumatic dress syndrome.
I really would put my wife on a pedestal if she wasn't so afraid of heights.
What is a thesaurus' favorite dessert? Synonym buns.
The bank robber looked so peaceful and innocent lying there under his big fluffy blanket. Just goes to show you, you can't judge a crook by his cover.
A carpenter must have been here. I saw dust.
A reciprocating saw is a saw that gets borrowed and returned among neighbors.
I applied for a position at the hair-replacement company because I heard there was growth potential.
My wife uses a kitchen implement to shred garlic and parmesan cheese, which I hate. It really is the grater of two evils.
I got a job with a company that manufactures trampolines. Now I'll have something to fall back on.
Archimedes set out to invent a water pump and screwed it up.

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When the ornithologist gave his neighbor the bird he went into flight mode. In an effort to smooth things over and resolve their differences one gladiator said to the other, 'Let's bury the hatchet and go clubbing'. A taxidermist specializes in skin for cabs.