I live by one motto: Strikes in the streets, splits in the sheets.
You've got a good grip on that ball. I'd like to see how you handle two.
Excuse me, miss. I just wanted to strike up a conversation.
Is your name Tide? Because you just washed all my doubts away.
Do you believe in love at first rinse, or should I run another cycle?
That smile is brighter than my whites after a hot wash — coffee sometime?
Are we on the same load? Because my heart’s stuck in your spin cycle.
Mind if I sit by you? My heart needs a little fabric softener.
You must be dryer sheets, because you make everything feel softer.
Are you a lost sock? Because I've been searching my whole life for you.
Floor's wet but my knees aren't — can I take you out instead of folding?
Is your name Soap? Because you’ve bubbled up all my feelings.
I’d trade my last quarter for one more minute with you at this machine.
Can I be your laundry basket? I'll hold everything you throw my way.
You’re hotter than a medium-hot dryer setting — let's not air dry this.
If looks could remove stains, you'd be spotless.
Call me fabric softener; I’ll smooth out our wrinkles together.
My heart's been shrunk in cold water; only you can restore it to size.
Are you a coin slot? Because I’d feed you quarters all night.
Let’s skip the timer — want to grab a bite before the spin ends?
You’re the extra rinse my life’s been missing.
If kisses were lint, I'd need a lint trap full of you.
All those clothes would look great on my floor. Well, after the dry cycle.
Are you a bad load of laundry? You make my pants feel two sizes too small.
Can I help you do your laundry?
Can you help me? How much detergent do I need to put in with these clothes?
Can you tell me how much bleach to put in with my good suit?
Does this thong smell clean to you?
Here, let me help you put your clothes in the dryer.
Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
