Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
You make my heart go all staccato.
Can I take you out for dinner? Because I can’t resist your spark.
Are you a doctor? Because you're always giving me a diagnosis of "you're awesome" and I think it's contagious.
I must be a fixed asset, because my heart appreciates you every day.
My heart doesn’t need fixing, but I’d still call you every time.
I know you've sinned. Thou shalt not steal… my heart… but you just did.
Wanna see my hanging belay?
The museum had a 3-D exhibit depicting a modern funeral parlor. It was a die-orama.
Look, my teeth spell out 'I love you' in block letters!
Girl, is your name May? Cause, May i be your Imam?
I must not have alzheimer's today because I remember how cute you are!
Your organic cotton t-shirt looks really soft. Can I feel it?
Would you like to borrow my tuner? Because you're looking pretty sharp to me.
My vet says I'm lacking in Vitamin U.
You're so smart, I think we could make a great team... and by team, I mean in the operating room of life.
Are you net income? Because you’ve become the bottom line of my happiness.
Are you a pipe threader? Because you’ve threaded your way through my life.
Hi, my names not David, but for you I would slay two Goliaths
