Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
I was going to ask for a double, but one look at you, and I’m already seeing stars.
You’re the best crop I could ever hope to harvest.
You must be a screwdriver, because you’ve tightened all the loose ends in my life.
What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A Har- VEST.
Police found a criminal shot to death with exit wounds but no entry wounds. It was an inside job.
I believe I will be able to run my car on politicians promises but I'm having trouble with the fool injection system.
Even if you don't get a medal, I can make your trip to _______ worthwhile
I’ll eat Hip Whip on anything.
Are you the sacrament of Confirmation? Because you complete me.
Congratulations, you've gone Clear... to my heart!
Are you always this good with your hands, or is tonight special?
Are you the rain? Because you’ve brought new life to my heart.
Are you a circuit breaker? Because you’ve stopped me in my tracks.
What holiday do they celebrate in prison? Shanksgiving.
The hardcore happy house dance club opened to rave reviews.
If I said you had the body of an all-natural, organic-living, animal-loving, environment-nurturing, whale-saving sex machine, would you hold it against me? Please?
Do you believe in Divine appointment?
Baby, I will blow your mind. Literally. With a bat.
Do u have Australian in you? Would u like some?
May I... Take you out for some tamales señorita?
