GotLines - Pick Up Lines, Jokes and Insults

Funny Puns - Part 42

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

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The Best Puns

A funeral ship is a sea hearse.
Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
A TV repairman's job is to get set to work.
Michelangelo's David is superior to postmodern sculpture - it's an artifact.
He won the twister contest hands-down.
How can you get a drywall plasterer to finish the job? They barely start and then they stop.
Does Santa take his sleigh to his magic class or does he take a luge in?
The barber opened up a shavings account.
Laparoscopy shows insight.
When the scientist wanted to clone a deer, he bought a doe it yourself kit.
To add to the punishment, Satan made all the tormented souls listen to elevator music. The Hells Are Alive With the Sounds of Muzak.
I just looked up the word 'apocalypse' in the dictionary. It was quite a revelation.
It was boring to listen to the prisoner as he kept repeating how sorry he was for his crime. He was con trite.
When the hockey player came home he gave his wife a puck on the cheek.
I hired a zombie to do some work around my house. He is the working dead.
Gladys the seamstress was recently inducted into the Pin Pushers Hall of Fame. I guess now she is a status thimble.
The author in northwest Alaska used a pen name. It was a Nome de plume.
Some doting parents are son worshipers.
Flatfish always do their job. They know their plaice.
What do you call a musician who steals sheet music? A clef-to maniac.

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A funeral ship is a sea hearse. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane. A TV repairman's job is to get set to work.