GotLines - Pick Up Lines, Jokes and Insults

Funny Puns - Part 16

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

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The Best Puns

I support both of my wives very well. I think that's big o' me.
I know a rancher who has 100 head of cattle, but he thought there were only 99 until he rounded them up.
My new theory on inertia doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.
It's the barbecue I've always wanted - the grill of my dreams!
When the swimmer recovered from her stroke she decided to dive right into kicking her bad habits.
If there was someone selling drugs in this place, weed know.
Spoilsport is the harbor where booty is shipped in.
The origami artist won the court case because he was good with paperwork.
My friend said that if Watergate had happened in Scotland they would've had Scotch tape.
When the doctor asked the editor how he was doing, he said he had a problem with his circulation.
My cartography job is really going to put me on the map.
The seed company turfed out my idea for ready made lawn.
That gas pump must be sick. It doesn't fill well.
My dog was mustard-colored. That made him a Gulden Retriever.
A golf course is a foreground.
The best way to make a baseball bat is to carve it by hand. Using a machine is just lathe-y.
A red blood count is a communist vampire.
Did you hear about the owl that fell for twin comedians and had two wits to woo?
The golfer guessed that his ball landed 20 feet off the fairway. Of course, that was just a rough estimate.
The dermatologist and his wife enjoyed the backyard BBQ, while their children played a game of skin tag.

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I support both of my wives very well. I think that's big o' me. I know a rancher who has 100 head of cattle, but he thought there were only 99 until he rounded them up. My new theory on inertia doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.