GotLines - Pick Up Lines, Jokes and Insults

Funny Puns - Part 15

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

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The Best Puns

I was just diagnosed as having a hernia. My wife and kids are setting up a truss fund.
It's amazing what two or more sinners can achieve together with synergy.
The aspiring limbo dancer overcame his fear of crowded bars, becoming a significant underachiever.
What do you call a musician who steals sheet music? A clef-to maniac.
It's a lengthy article on Japanese Sword Fighters but I can Samurais it for you.
Losing your head in an emergency is a no brainer.
The fellow died before he was able to write his estranged daughter out of the will. Death before disown her.
Flatfish always do their job. They know their plaice.
Some doting parents are son worshipers.
The author in northwest Alaska used a pen name. It was a Nome de plume.
The store keeps calling me to come back and buy more bedroom furniture, but all I really wanted was one night stand.
Gladys the seamstress was recently inducted into the Pin Pushers Hall of Fame. I guess now she is a status thimble.
I hired a zombie to do some work around my house. He is the working dead.
When the hockey player came home he gave his wife a puck on the cheek.
It was boring to listen to the prisoner as he kept repeating how sorry he was for his crime. He was con trite.
I just looked up the word 'apocalypse' in the dictionary. It was quite a revelation.
To add to the punishment, Satan made all the tormented souls listen to elevator music. The Hells Are Alive With the Sounds of Muzak.
When the scientist wanted to clone a deer, he bought a doe it yourself kit.
Economists report that garden centers are attempting to stem a fall in the sales of fresh flowers.
Eve showed up one morning wearing flowers instead of a fig leaf. She was the first woman to wear bloomers.

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I was just diagnosed as having a hernia. My wife and kids are setting up a truss fund. It's amazing what two or more sinners can achieve together with synergy. The aspiring limbo dancer overcame his fear of crowded bars, becoming a significant underachiever.