GotLines - Pick Up Lines, Jokes and Insults

Funny Puns - Part 19

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

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The Best Puns

What is a thesaurus' favorite dessert? Synonym buns.
The bank robber looked so peaceful and innocent lying there under his big fluffy blanket. Just goes to show you, you can't judge a crook by his cover.
A carpenter must have been here. I saw dust.
A reciprocating saw is a saw that gets borrowed and returned among neighbors.
I applied for a position at the hair-replacement company because I heard there was growth potential.
When I asked the man how he became a ditch-digger, he said he just fell into it.
The British cannibal enjoyed snacking on fish and chaps.
My wife uses a kitchen implement to shred garlic and parmesan cheese, which I hate. It really is the grater of two evils.
I got a job with a company that manufactures trampolines. Now I'll have something to fall back on.
Archimedes set out to invent a water pump and screwed it up.
My neighbor just got the part for Scrooge in a local performance. I'd love to go see him, but that play scares the Dickens out of me.
Seesaw is how you find a woodcutter.
The shoemaker did not deny his apprentice anything he needed. He gave his awl.
Ralph was kicked off the skydiving team because he couldn't chute straight.
An umbilical cord is a navel vessel.
I don't like tops of stairs. They always bring me down.
When the gastroenterologist retired, he threw in the bowel.
The actor was never quite right after he retired. He had Post Dramatic Stress Disorder.
November: We start the month out stuffing ballots to elect some turkey, we end the month stuffing a turkey to increase our ballast.
Sainthood is a gangster who truly repented.

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What is a thesaurus' favorite dessert? Synonym buns. The bank robber looked so peaceful and innocent lying there under his big fluffy blanket. Just goes to show you, you can't judge a crook by his cover. A carpenter must have been here. I saw dust.