GotLines - Pick Up Lines, Jokes and Insults

Funny Puns - Part 22

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

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The Best Puns

Some doting parents are son worshipers.
Flatfish always do their job. They know their plaice.
What do you call a musician who steals sheet music? A clef-to maniac.
It's amazing what two or more sinners can achieve together with synergy.
I was just diagnosed as having a hernia. My wife and kids are setting up a truss fund.
The way he fawned over her was quite endearing.
Teaching your slinky new tricks is like spring training.
I've heard about the rumors that I keep vats of acid at my home, but they're lyes -- all lyes!
It's a lengthy article on Japanese Sword Fighters but I can Samurais it for you.
Losing your head in an emergency is a no brainer.
The fellow died before he was able to write his estranged daughter out of the will. Death before disown her.
The store keeps calling me to come back and buy more bedroom furniture, but all I really wanted was one night stand.
Economists report that garden centers are attempting to stem a fall in the sales of fresh flowers.
The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.
If you want to keep squirrels out of the bird feeder, just install a little climb-it control.
I thought Santa was going to be late, but he arrived in the Nick of time.
I fired the floor refinishers. They simply could not hold their lacquer.
That convicted killer is calm today, but by tomorrow he will be high strung.
I kept failing to get a job as a butcher because I couldn't just make the cut.
When thunderstorms felt that they weren't getting paid enough, they went on a lightning strike.

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Some doting parents are son worshipers. Flatfish always do their job. They know their plaice. What do you call a musician who steals sheet music? A clef-to maniac.