GotLines - Pick Up Lines, Jokes and Insults

Funny Puns - Part 17

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

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The Best Puns

My foul language has become routine. It is par for the cuss.
I am always sad when I go to the dentist, so I put on music and listen through my blue tooth headphones.
Mummies are bound to be uptight.
Shakespeare spent so much time at the Globe Theater because he was bored of Avon.
Eugene O'Neil once wrote a play about a visit from an optometrist. He called it, 'The Eyes Man Cometh.'
It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.
There was an archeologist who made no bones about digging dirt up on people.
The trapeze artist had to buy his own safety equipment. Every Friday he drew his net wages.
The dermatologist and his wife enjoyed the backyard BBQ, while their children played a game of skin tag.
When a woman returns new clothing, that's post traumatic dress syndrome.
I really would put my wife on a pedestal if she wasn't so afraid of heights.
What is a thesaurus' favorite dessert? Synonym buns.
The bank robber looked so peaceful and innocent lying there under his big fluffy blanket. Just goes to show you, you can't judge a crook by his cover.
A carpenter must have been here. I saw dust.
An umbilical cord is a navel vessel.
Seesaw is how you find a woodcutter.
The shoemaker did not deny his apprentice anything he needed. He gave his awl.
Ralph was kicked off the skydiving team because he couldn't chute straight.
When the gastroenterologist retired, he threw in the bowel.
The actor was never quite right after he retired. He had Post Dramatic Stress Disorder.

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My foul language has become routine. It is par for the cuss. I am always sad when I go to the dentist, so I put on music and listen through my blue tooth headphones. Mummies are bound to be uptight.