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Funny Puns - Part 17

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

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The Best Puns

What's a chimney sweep's most common ailment? The flue.
What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
A polar bear, a giraffe and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
What's the longest piece of furniture in the world? The multiplication table.
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
An expert farmer is outstanding in his field.
Old bosses never die, much as you want them to.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried it for a spell.
How do you make antifreeze? Steal her blanket.
How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.
On the surface of things whales are always blowing it.
Girls who don't get asked out as often as their friends could feel out-dated
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor? A pachydermatologist.
How do you tickle a rich girl? Say "Gucci Gucci Gucci!"
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
My cavity wasn't fixed by my regular dentist, but by a guy who was filling in.
What is the world's most popular wine? I don't like Brussels sprouts.
What is the religion of a woman who had a sex-change operation. A HeThen

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What's a chimney sweep's most common ailment? The flue.
What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.