GotLines - Pick Up Lines, Jokes and Insults

Funny Puns - Part 13

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

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The Best Puns

What do you call a cow who gives no milk? A milk dud (or an udder failure).
When they bought a water bed, the couple started to drift apart.
Tire stores are highway rubbery.
Abstinence leaves a lot to be desired.
I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie I've ever seen.
Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy
The retired track official has started forgetting things. He has old timer's disease.
The drug dealer added sugar to his marijuana to sweeten the pot.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
I once got into so much debt that I couldn't even afford my electricity bills, they were the darkest times of my life.
When asked what it takes to be a great cook the chef said that it boils down to beating the other chefs to the cutting edge recipes.
A crow is a four-letter bird.
The golfer guessed that his ball landed 20 feet off the fairway. Of course, that was just a rough estimate.
It's the barbecue I've always wanted - the grill of my dreams!
The cannibal hitman preferred take out food.
I know a rancher who has 100 head of cattle, but he thought there were only 99 until he rounded them up.
My dog was mustard-colored. That made him a Gulden Retriever.
I thought Santa was going to be late, but he arrived in the Nick of time.
I support both of my wives very well. I think that's big o' me.
My new theory on inertia doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.

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What do you call a cow who gives no milk? A milk dud (or an udder failure). When they bought a water bed, the couple started to drift apart. Tire stores are highway rubbery.