Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
You must be a water softener, because you've softened my hard heart.
Are you a showerhead? Because you've just showered me with feelings.
You're like a perfect stream of water—refreshing and essential.
Are you a leaky pipe? Because I'm dripping with excitement every time I see you.
You must be a faucet, because you've turned my heart on.
Are you a water heater? Because you've got me feeling warm all over.
I want to floss with your pubic hair.
You're my favorite tool in the shed—reliable and irreplaceable.
Are you a compression fitting? Because you make everything come together.
I have a van out the back and there is free candy in it.
Your name must be Alzheimer, because the Kaiser stole my pudding...
Is that a shattered hip, or are you just happy to see me?
Where have you been pretty much all of my life?
I'm dieing to see you. Literally. I don't have much time left.
Hey, can I get a ride to the pharmacy?
The doctor says I need more vitamin U.
Sorry, but I couldn't help but noticing how cute you look in that ankle-length, shapeless, plaid jumper.
Waiter, you have an aged, dry white? Something to complement the little lady here.
Did you fall from heaven and you can't get up?
Is that a catheter in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
