Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
Sit in my lap and let's talk about the first thing that pops up, or until my legs fall asleep.
You're the kind of pipe I'd never replace.
As long as I have this wheelchair, youll always have a lap to seat on.
Can you give me directions... to your heart? And kidneys?
How about I take you back to my place where we can get into a heated arguement about social security.
You're so good lookin' I'd drink your bath water.
Hey, you still breathing?
Is that a Depends under your pants or are you just glad to see me?
My heart doesn't need fixing, but I'd still call you every time.
I got a bottle of wine and a new pack of Depends in my scooter if you're feelin' frisky.
If your feeling down, remember, I'll feel you back up
Are you a pipe threader? Because you've threaded your way through my life.
Is your Dad in prison? If I were your Dad, I'd be in prison.
Hi, I'm a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?
I'm kind of new around here... can you show me the way to your apartment/house?
Is that a new hip or are you just happy to see me?
I've fallen for you and I can't get up.
When I look at you, my arteries aren't the only things that harden.
Hey beautiful, they still let me drive. Wanna go for a ride?
You're like the perfect fitting tool—meant just for me.
