Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Girl, tonight I want you to be my mcdonalds...fast, cheap, and easy.
I'm a lawyer... Thrust me.
You're so sexy, I'd even let you fold my pages dog-eared style.
Your food is making my mouth wet.
Are you a level? Because everything feels perfectly balanced when you’re around.
Are you a defensive specialist because you could definitely dig me.
If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
My spandex aren't the only thing that's tight.
I'll get your tides flowing.
I love you more than my mom loves Céline Dion.
Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning? -- It swells during the night!
Are you a top spin? Cause you got me hitting the floor.
I am drawn to your light. (Mothman)
Are you a volleyball? Cause I'd get my hands all over you any day.
Want to see my Canadian Tire money?
You must be tired, because you've been running through my nightmares all night!
Looks like you need some laying on of hands for the commission of sin.
Excuse me, Miss, could you sign for this package? (Delivery Guy)
Good thing I'm here, it has to be illegal to look that good. (Police)
