Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
Is that a maple syrup bottle in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
You know what they say about guys with big snowshoes.
Hey babe. Wanna go for a timmies run?
You're sweeter than my maple syrup.
Want to see my lumber, Jack?
You're a beluga in this sea of cod.
The darker the berry the sweeter the juice, unless you're making syrup, of course.
You've never been to Port Hardy? I'll take you. It's in my pants.
I'm cold just thinking about Canada. Let's Cuddle.
Are you a beaver? Because dam!
The thought of you makes me redder than the sands at North Shore.
May i take your truck for a test drive?
Hey baby, can I roll up your rim?
Can I hiber-mate with you?
You ever been to a hockey game with someone who understands hockey?
Fall hardly happens here, but you'll be falling into my bed.
Girl, you must be a snowed in driveway, cuz I really want to plow ya.
You couldn't cut the sexual tension in here with a Yellowknife.
You must be Niagara Falls because you've got me moist.
I've got a house in Shaughnessy Heights.
Won't you please open your Northwest Passage and let me hike your tundra?
Do you wanna roll up my rim?
Sorry to bother you but would you wanna play a little hide the sausage with me?
Call me Kathleen Wynne ‘cause I'd spend all my money on you.
Let's go to my place. I'd like to show you my puck collection.
Is that a mini Inuksuk in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
You're so stunning even the Language Police are speechless.
My game is just like Alexander Keith's: "Those who like it, like it a lot."
Hey baby, my truck has remote start!
I don't play football, but I'm definitely a rough rider.
Why don't we go back to the rink and you can show me how you handle your stick.
I can last the entire Cabot Trail.
I want to Winnipeg your Regina.
I won't quit until Huron top of me.
Please harvest my Cavendish potatoes.
I put the MAN in Manitoba.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Did you use Canada's public healthcare system to help ease that pain?
Do like Theodore Tugboat and tug.
You look sexy even in layers.
Are you a shale basin? ‘Cause I'd frack you.
Bulls aren't the only thing I know how to ride.
Is that your Moose?
I really caribou-t you.
Are you a Bluenoser? 'Cause you're a dime.
My body is "Yours to discover".
It's so cold I can't feel my thighs! Can you feel my thighs?
Vancouver isn't the only thing getting wet tonight.
You must be Drumheller, ‘cause I totally dig you.
You're prettier than a summer day in Lunenburg.
Hey Girl, are you a Beaver? Because you sure look like you could use some wood!
Are you a Mountie because I want to mount you.
I'm a high tide and I'm looking to smash.
I'm gonna make you say "Yes b'y" all night.
Is it hot in here or am I just wearing two pairs of long johns?
I want you for myself like Newfoundland has its own time zone.
Let's procreate like the snakes in the Narcisse Dens.
I'm not wearing any long johns.
Let me take you on a ride in my John Deere.
I'll show you my CN Tower if you show me your Skydome.
Are you timber? Because I'd split you.
Hide your beavers. I'm hunting them.
Would you help an endangered species? Because my woodcock needs help.
You know what they say, wheat fields are made for sowing.
What do you say after this hockey game you come back to my igloo & split a poutine?
I wish I was Tim Horton's coffee, so I could get close to your lips.
Can I slide my iceberg into your alley?
Want to help raise my totem pole?
Wanna go back to my igloo and cuddle?
Damn girl you must be a maple tree because I'd tap that.
So get your tiny butt over here and let's watch hockey and cuddle, eh.
I have a confession to make: I've been looking at you more than I Ottawa.
Are you a maple tree? ‘Cause I'd tap that.
We both love hockey, eh? Can I give you a puck?
Unlike the Leafs, I will never let you down.
Will you be the Flin to my Flon?
It's cold out. Why don't you come back to my bed and we can warm up?
Oh I didn't mean to pull you in so close. I thought I heard a rutting bull moose.
Hey your hands would be a lot warmer if they were down the front of my pants?
Damn girl, are you a moose? Cause you make me go *moose noise*
Yukon check out my Klondike any time.
You're like a BC ferry: Everyone wants to get on you.
My feelings for you are Montreal.
I can love you more than a cowboy loves a fat calf.
Sorry, but would you mind if I poutine it in your butt?
I'm actually way hotter than poutin.
Hey baby, my body's like Ontario. Yours to discover.
I won't take no for an answer. I'm having Nunavut.
Let's play hockey, because I'd love to have 2 minutes for holding.
Can your beaver eat my log?
I really want to Cape Enrage your Kouchibouguac.
My girl how you chest plate suh clean like it could a eat outta!
Yuh Sweet lak ah angel, so tell me whah deh Gwan up in nah heaven now? Why Gad send yuh ere?
My girl me wah full up yuh belly like cornmeal dumpling.
Girl if you're Jamaican we would click together coz I'm really into your type, come with me.
Baby, you're the patty to my coco bread.
Baby gi mi yuh number nuh, Mi lost mine?
I think that being a Jamaican is cool, so how about we try the dating pool to see if we're ok?
Baby, yuh look sweet like a ginger candy, me wan unwrap you and taste ya spices.
Baby! Gad know seh yuh deh yah? Caw yuh must be a Angel
