Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Gal yuh too sweet, spend some time wid me suh some ah you sweetness rub off pon mi.
Yuh nuh tiad? Caw yuh den run tru mi mind all day
Baby, you're the patty to my coco bread.
You're the Salsa of my Tacos, chequeteta.
May I... Take you out for some tamales señorita?
Maya got a nice tan in Mexico, maybe next time Yucatan with me?
Let me sauce up your taco meat baby!
We can blame it on fajita the moment.
Are you Mexican cause you should make me some burritos.
I want to put my burrito in your taco.
I want to be Popocatépetl to your IztaccÃhuatl, except your not dead just fucking drunk.
Can I dip my Chorizo in your salsa?
I love you more than a flour tortilla with beans!
Do you like tacos? Well cool you like 75% of me.
Your peroxide blonde hair looks good, but I would like to see if you are a true blonde.
Hey baby, why do you think they call it a pick-up truck?
You can't handle the tooth!
Girl you must be my cousin because I wanna do you.
My home is where I park it
God wants us to be together. That's why he gave us the same parents.
Wanna find out if my shotgun shell will fit in your double barrel?
Well, aren't you hotter than a mama cougar in heat running from my hunting dogs in August?
Hey baby, wanna go back to my place? Mamma said you had to be home by 10 anyway.
You look good in that lumberjack shirt but I would like to see you out of it.
Hey babe, do you know that my mouth can generate over 3000 rpm?
You are prettier than a beer truck pulling up in the driveway.
Roses are red. Spend the night with me and I'll teach you all kinds of cool scientific stuff like that!
Tell me honey ham, did it hurt when the devil spit you up and you landed here?
You're a better kisser than your Momma and both yer sisters.
I ain't no donkey herder, but I could wrangle that ass.
Wanna come back to my place, babe? I'm a thoroughbred.
What size boot you wear girl?
Hey girl, do you raise cattle? Cause those are some nice calves.
If you was my heifer, I'd done drive you to the meat processing plant.
Girl, I know how to shove my hips, I do it for a living!
Let's get trippy together barefoot.
My van's parked outside. Let's say you and I just take a ride down to the beach and check out the stars?
Your organic cotton t-shirt looks really soft. Can I feel it?
Hello, perhaps I could have someone else buy you a drink?
Do yoga with me as the sun is rising?
If we were trees. We'd be of the same species.
Let's take off each other's clothes... and then run in the fields together.
Wanna go back to my place for a little "fair trade?"
I just love the way you've styled the hair on your legs. Do the cornrows go all the way up?
Damn girl, I hope you have an open mind because I have quite the night planned for us.
Wanna come back to my place to discuss complex interrelated cultural and political trends?
You and me together would be totally groovy baby!
If you join this drum circle you're sure to get a good bang.
That's a nice hammock. Does it fit two?
Hey baby, I've got you two tickets to the gun show...Let's use them to go and protest gun-related violence!
I'm undressing you with my 3rd eye.
My carbon footprint is the only part of me that's small.
Turn on, tune in, drop your pants.
I'd share my bar of soap with you.
If I told you you had a beautiful Prius, would you hold it against me?
I loved you before it was cool.
Seriously baby, I'll take you out as soon as this check clears from my parents.
Hey girl, let's forget the world and start a post-rock band.
Hey, my name's Ethel, it's a really vintage name, i doubt you've ever heard it before.
Guy: Hey, do you have any pretentious avant-garde photographer in you? Girl: Um, no. Guy: Want some?
I'm gonna disrupt the shit out of your technology.
Do you want to roll around in my collection of antique buttons and talk about our childhood dreams?
Want to come over and listen to NPR.
Hey girl, is that an original Yo La Tengo 7†in your pants? Because your butt is extremely valuable.
My beard is the same length as Abraham Lincoln's was on his 7th birthday.
Hey baby, let's get coffee and vegan donuts.
I'd like to have you on vinyl.
Was that you at a Vivian Girls concert?
We go together like coffee and cigarettes.
Do you want to go to bed bath and beyond and smell unscented candles and tell each other what we think we smell?
Want to go dumpster diving in my alley?
Lemme add my app to your dashboard. If you know what I mean.
When's the last time you had a good macaroon?
There's an Arcade Fire ... In my pants.
I like my coffee like I like my women: ethical, fair trade, and organic.
I'm in my backyard...in my Eno... It's a double-nester.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together at an Pixies show.
Baby I see our relationship being like a good denim jacket: timeless.
Is that a pair of vintage Ray Bans in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Girl, I got an extra pair of TOMS that might fit you. Want to come over & try them on?
That ironic t-shirt you're wearing would look better on my floor.
Yeah, I was kind of a big deal at last year's Expozine.
Did you know that PBR actually stands for ‘Pretty Big Rod'?
I feel like we met at Whole Foods, because you make me feel complete.
Wanna meet my Cobrasnake?
Would you like to be my lock screen?
Hey girl you're as hot as my Venti double shot dark mocha macchiato with no foam.
I love you more than Dustin Kensrue of Thrice loves to write songs referencing fire...
Maybe it's just the PBR talking, but I could see myself in a non-monogamous relationship with you, or whatever.
In bed, I'm just like my fixed-gear bike: Extremely hard to stop.
You've got bike courier eyes.
It's a good day for the eno. Let's hang later.
You're sweeter than the agave syrup in my organic fair trade mint tea.
Do you Chemex? Want to see my drip?
Hey girl, I have a unreturned library book that I want to read to you tonight.
Hey, haven't we had sex in the bathroom at Green Room before?
I was in love with you before your ex was!
