Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
I don't work weekends, or any other day that ends in Y.
What if the Pilgrims shot a bobcat instead of a turkey? We'd be eating pussy for Thanksgiving!
Your ugliness is so profound, it could make a horror movie director run out of ideas.
How about I wear these Carhartts and we plant seeds together.
Are you made out of grapes? Because you are fine as wine!
Is that a double ended dildo or are you just glad to see me?
Is that a candy cane in your pocket, or are you just struggling to contain your excite-mint?
My name must be John Deere cause I'm totally a Tractored to you.
Are you a sprint set? Because baby, you take my breath away.
Excuse me, could you help me out? I have an incredible itch that's buried deep in my butt.
Can I be one of the men in your box?
Are you a touch pad? Because I'd be the first to tap that.
Your car's reliability is a cruel joke, a constant source of breakdowns and expensive repairs.
Boy, I wanna go swimming but I'm already drowning in your eyes.
Are you cold? Cause I can be your sweater.
If you were a youtube video, I would watch you intensely at night without anybody knowing.
Are you from heaven? Cause I can send you back.
The seats in your car are as uncomfortable as sitting on a bed of nails, inflicting torture on your passengers.
Your car's audio system sounds like a cacophony of dying cats, assaulting the ears of anyone unfortunate enough to listen.
Is your battery dead? Cause I’d love to jump you.
