Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
Hey girl, let's go get lost at IKEA.
Hey babe, I know you'll love my pick up lines 'cause you've never heard them before.
Are you a hipster? 'Cause we should go out and fog up our glasses!
Babe, I ain't no hipster, but I could make your hips stir.
Hey babe, are you gluten free tonight?
I'd like to play your cool B Side.
How about we try an experimental kiss?
I'd take my sun glasses off for you!
Let's get out of here and go fog up are non-prescription glasses.
Up for a little dominance and humiliation?
Can I impale you with my 7″ stake?
Are you a witch? Because am under your spell.
You couldn't be any hotter if you were dead.
Baby are you a diamond in the ruff cause I wanna cut you.
Worship me!
Wow. That outfit must make a lot of noise in the dryer.
Wanna go somewhere a little darker?
Are you a vampire? Because I've got something I'ld like you to suck.
Hey there, sweet-fang!
Are you a boy or a girl... or does it matter?
Wanna go for a ride in my porsche? It's black...
See that man in the corner? Vampire slayer. C'mon lets get out of here!
Bite me! No really...
Excuse me, miss? Hi, I'm doing a scavenger hunt for my fraternity rush, and one of the things on my list is a umm….weird chick.
So, are you a satanist?
You look good with skeletons.
You're depressed, TOO?!
Can I nail you? (and I don't mean to a crucifix!)
Ever do it on an embalming table?
Hey, you in the black!
Your coffin or mine?
Are you a grave? Because I want to bury myself inside you!
I wanna spin you upside-down like my cross.
I C Major potential in you and me performing a duet together.
Let's measure the interval between me, you, and our clothes all off.
Are you an F# because I miss you constantly.
I wish you were an augmented 6 chord so you could bring resolution to my raised member.
I'd like to finger your fret board.
Girl you must have swallowed a speaker, cause your beauty is louder than the rest.
How would you like to see my big organ?
You know where to best find music? Between the sheets.
Hey, you're a pretty great pianist. Better yet, your bae-toven.
Want to make some parallel motion back to my place?
You must be a fourth or a fifth, because you're just perfect!
A cello isn't the only interesting thing between my legs.
I just broke my G-string. Can I borrow yours?
Hey baby, what's your dynamic?
Me and you are perfectly tuned together.
When I'm with you, my heart starts to syncopate.
Do you believe in love at first set, or do we have to run it again?
Will your adjust your note and resolve my raised member?
Are you my new favorite song? Because I'd like to hear you on repeat.
Stop, you're giving me a woodwind.
You must be the fifth scale degree of a diatonic scale, because you're always dominant in my thoughts.
Saxophonists do it wish alternate fingering.
If my mind was a playlist, theres only one song in it, and the song is you.
Hey baby, there's no need to fret if your g-string is open.
So, do you prefer lento, andante, or allegro?
A mouthpiece isn't the only place I like to put my lips.
Baby, our love will be like the cello line from Pachabel's Canon, it's gonna go on forever.
How many positions can you get into?
How bout you come over here and let me put my damp-it in your f-hole.
Hey baby I play bass drum, so you know I could give you a nice deep bang…
Baby when we're done, you're gonna need a whole rest
Are you from the 19th Century? Cause you can be my Babethoven!
Hey girl, is your leading tone a C# because all I can see coming next is this D.
Is that a fugue I hear? Because we're about to get entangled.
Can you please be the Treble to my clef?
Our voices are more than an octave apart. Let's get a little closer.
If you were my theory homework, I'd slam you on the table and do you all night long.
You make my heart go all staccato.
Would you like to borrow my tuner? Because you're looking pretty sharp to me.
Do you mind helping me work on my fingerings?
Darling, are you having treble? Don't worry, I'll be your strong bass.
You have a nice set of mallets.
Will you help with with my French technique?
Wanna strum my g-string?
Guitarists finger faster, you know.
I wanna rosin your bow.
Trombones can do seven positions, and baby, my favourite's on the floor.
Did you just move from a V to I chord? Because I think you're perfect.
Boy are you a fifth because you're perfect.
Can you sing low? Because I'm all about that bass.
Let's just cut to the chase and duet already.
Is that a microphone in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Save a drum, bang a drummer.
I wish I was your flute...then you could press my buttons and blow me all night long.
Lets go into the practice room and work on our tonguing, fingering and lip slurs.
You can tickle my ivories anytime, baby.
You are treble-y cute.
I see you play bass clarinet. You must like the bigger kinds of wood.
Baby, you'd better lower your pitch, 'cause right now, you're lookin' sharp!
If you were a solo, I'd give you a superior rating.
You can treat me like an ad lib solo, and play with me any way you want.
Hey baby, is your leading tone c#? Because I could see this night resolving to the D.
You make me crescendo.
You and i are like c and b# we look different but were the same at heart.
Altos know how to go down low.
I bet we'd get into some serious treble together.
If you were a saxophone, I could finger twelve notes on you with just my left hand.
