Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
If you were a drug, I'd crush you and put you in that girl's drink.
They say to bat me 2nd because I'm a good 2-hole hitter.
Do you have a mirror in your intestines? Because I can see my hands in them.
Do you have a map? Because I got lost in your eyes. [If this doesn't work, hit her in the head with a brick]
You are living proof that Australia was colonized by criminals, because it's 'criminal' how good you look.
What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach? Puritan.
Is it hot in here or is it just the fire I've lit in your hair?
I'll eat you like a dingo eats a baby.
Do you want to check out my home quarter?
Are you a swim bag? Because you got everything I need.
Shouldn't you be sitting on top of my tree, Angel?
You know I liked you before anybody else even knew who you were.
Do you know what the difference is between you and my car? I'd love to wreck you.
Are you the 100 breast? Cause baby you make my knees weak.
Can I stuff your taco with my beef?
I'm going to ask you out. Resistance is futile
Christ has risen today, and so have my pants.
I feel like I'm in the Arctic, because when I'm with you it's like the sun never sets.
I think I'm gay, want to prove me wrong?
You have the most terrific bone structure. Your skull is going to be the prize of my collection.
