Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
Hey, you wanna go grab a protein shake?
All of my gym buddy is to have a perfect body, but for me my goal is to have you.
Do you believe in love at first squat?
Wanna sit on my lap while I use the rowing machine?
How'd you like to come back to my place and sit on my feet while I do sit-ups?
Nice calves. Have you been working on them?
You must have great cardio because you just ran away with my heart.
Do you come here often? Because you are fit.
This court isn't the only place where I'm going to be diving.
Are you a volleyball? Because I'd dive for you anytime.
If you're a volleyball player, I think we can set up a date.
I know it's against the rules, but I'd love to touch you more than 3 times.
Your body is something I wouldn't wanna cover.
If I get a block on you, can I get your number?
It's always bikram yoga when you're doing it.
We aren't even in hot yoga, yet you make them sweat.
I love it when you wear your yoga pants all day.
I will walk across your bridge.
You can call me Palhares. Because I can't wait to tap that.
Are those Vale Tudo shorts you're wearing or are you just happy to see me?
I hope our love is like a GSP fight. It never ends.
Been thinking about you a latte.
Do you need more sugar or am I sweet enough?
Can I get your number? Because I like you a latte.
Right now, I'm craving pizza, but I'm craving you more.
I like my pizza like I like my men. Deep.
If I don't get your number, I'm going to fall to pizzas.
I want to give you olive my love.
Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Do you like mushrooms because I could mush you in a room.
I have veganaise in the fridge at my place.
How do you like your eggs, substituted or fertilized?
I may not eat animal products, but that doesn't mean I can't swallow.
I'll give you a reason to try milk again.
Hi there, are you drinking a glass of wine? I love travel how about you?
I'm wasted but the condom in my wallet doesn't have to be.
Would you like to come back to my place and watch Netflix while drinking cheap wine and eating Chipotle?
Girl, you're finer than my ground pepper!
I can bone out 5 chickens in 10minutes, just think of the sexual implications.
I can do amazing things to your tongue.
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand.
Girl, you're so fine I could sift flour with you.
I love you as much as I love oyster sauce.
I'd like to casserole you. That's done slowly for about four hours.
Order fire, two shots of tequilla and your phone number.
Wanna go back to my place for some lamb chop lollipop?
Wanna lick my beater?
You're twice as sweet as a creme brulee... and less drippy.
Your legs are like peanut butter, smooth creamy and easy to spread.
Are you a frito cause your really corny.
Has anyone ever told you've got beautiful fries?
Are you Little Caesars because you look hot and ready.
I've always thought that cucumbers were such a sensual fruit.
Is your dad a japelano because you sure are hot.
Will you be the burger to my smash?
You are the glaze to my donut.
You're like an appetizer, cause you always come first.
Girl, I know you want this tip.
Hey, I've never eaten here before. What do you all recommend?
I noticed you, noticing me when I ordered.
If you liked the tip, come by later and I'll give you the full thing.
You get 25 percent of the bill and 100 percent of my heart. Call me?
Your money isn't the only tip I want.
Is work the only place that you are good at serving?
I'm thinking of getting into waitressing...can you give me any tips on how to break into the industry?
I wear this leaf blower so I can blow you 270 mph kisses.
Can I rake your front yard?
Are you in the Library catalogue? I'd love to get you're number.
I want to impress a cute stranger with my book choice. Do you have any recommendations?
Are you librarian? Because I really need to get shushed!
Did I just step into an E. M. Forster novel? Because any room with you in it is A Room with a View.
My dog is humping your dog. It must be fate!
Are you tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day with a frisbee in your mouth.
Haven't I sniffed you someplace before?
Would you like to go on a poop-duty double date?
We must be near the port or is it just because my heart is beating too fast coz I like you?
You are what they call a bombshell and how lucky I am that you are mine.
Some days I wish you were like a flight just so I can be the one to catch you up.
It seems I have got me some good tickets, want to check if my seat reclines?
You're an artist? I'd let you draw me naked anytime
Hey girl I bought Photoshop for the Magic Wand Tool 'cause I wanna make you my selection.
Like the Mona Lisa smile, I find your smile absolutely intriguing.
You had me at the gallery entrance.
Nice to meet you. I would shake your hand but the sign says not to touch the masterpieces.
You make me Les Miserable.
My dream role is to be your girlfriend.
Baby is that my name tattooed on your back?
Are you a traditionalist? Because your form is extraordinary.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Is there room on this kneeler for two?
Valentine's Day is tomorrow. Will you be my date to mass?
Are you devoted to St.Joseph the Worker? Because there's no denying you're working it.
Let's do some things you'll need to tell your priest about tomorrow.
Girl are you the Ascension? Cause you're a Glorious Mystery.
Hey are you busy Sunday? Wanna meet me at the altar?
Saint Augustine said to fall in love with God is the greatest romance, but falling in love with you is just as great.
Wow girl, I know you're going to hell because its got to be a sin to look that good!
Do you go to Latin Mass before coming to the gym? Because your form is extraordinary.
You, me, candles, wine, and a little Lamb of God?
Hey girl, I heard there aren't many married saints. How about we work on that together?
