Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
(hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?
I have celeriac seedlings in the back of my car.
Let's strengthen our hips together!
Let's get hoth and heavy.
When you fell from heaven, did it leave you with any lasting emotional scars?
Hey baby, I'd love to pollinate you!
I'll take a half dozen organic eggs and one of you.
I love to make good wine bet I can make you whine good too.
Tonight this Hsn doesn't want to fly solo.
When I see you my main sail rise.
Wanna come over and calculate some fip?
Do you like water? Then you would like 70% of me.
I would love to grease your fittings.
You know, I've never needed a third base coach to wave me home.
You have the cutest smile when you sleep.
You're so repulsive, it's a wonder flies don't swarm around you like you're a decomposing corpse.
Are you a legal memo? Because you’ve outlined everything I need to be happy.
Do you work at Little Ceasars? Cause you're hot and I'm ready.
You're such a pathetic excuse for a human being that even bacteria would turn their noses up at the thought of infecting you.
