Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
I'd compare you to my mother, but I don't want to go down that Freudian slippery slope.
George washington said "We would have a black president when pigs fly!" Swine flu?
Tire stores are highway rubbery.
I'm a gymnast, so if you're down for some mattress yoga, count me in!
I got the chorizo, you bring the eggs. Un-fertilized por favor.
You're like baseball: You make me all nervous and then nothing happens.
My hands are frozen. Can I put them in your pants?
Churchill isn't the only place where you can pet a polar bear.
You are like a live wire, hot and irresistible.
I didn't trip over my robe, I fell for you.
You must be a catheter, because you're draining all my worries away.
I don't need a meter to tell me that you're hot.
Oops, I jumped into the pool with my watch on. I don't know if it is waterproof or not. I guess only time will tell.
Are you a light switch? Because you're illuminating my world.
Hey baby you shine so bright I want to be your co-orbital companion!
Baseball players only wear one glove so they can leave the other hand free to hold girls like you.
If I had a nickel for every time I saw a girl as beautiful as you, I would have 5 cents!
Do you have a fuse? Because you're about to ignite my passion.
Can you tame my diamondback? Everybody else has.
What's the "win probability" of me taking you home tonight, baby?
