Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
Hey, beautiful! May I drop my anchor into your island?
Why don't you come back to my place, and we can do some world-shaking of our own.
I'm worried about you getting a sunburn. How about I cover you with my body?
I'm on my fourth hour so let's get this done so you can get me to the emergency room.
I love to be pawed
What did one Christmas light say to the other Christmas light? You light me up!
You look fetching today!
I ordered whole wheat toast but it tasted funny. I think something was awry.
Your ugliness is so intense, it's like a punch in the face to anyone unfortunate enough to gaze upon you.
A day with you is like an eternity of behind-the-ear scratches.
I can't swim! Can I hold on to your floaties?
Your ugliness is like a curse, a constant reminder that life can be cruel and unforgiving.
Your face looks like it was hit by a freight train, then dragged through a field of broken glass for good measure.
If there was an award for the ugliest motherfucker on the planet, you'd win it without any competition.
Your mirror must be traumatized from having to reflect your hideous visage day after day.
People avoid you like the plague, not just because of your ugliness, but because you radiate a putrid stench of repulsiveness.
I must be a Dog Tick, because I'm stuck on you.
I'm a poodle in the streets but a bulldog in the sheets
You must be the Lord of my flies, because they'll only unzip for you.
Like the dewey decimal system? I'm the do-it decimal system.
