GotLines?

Funny Lines by Occupation, Profession or Trade - Part 11





Top Lines by Occupation

Are you a trial balance? Because everything feels right when you’re around.
You’re like my favorite spreadsheet—organized, efficient, and absolutely perfect.
Are you a variance report? Because you’re an unexpected surprise.
You must be working capital, because you’re keeping my heart running smoothly.
Are you a ledger? Because I’d trust you with all my entries.
Are you interest revenue? Because my feelings for you just keep growing.
I don’t need to amortize my feelings—my love for you is instant.
Are you a balance sheet? Because my assets and liabilities are all about you.
You’re like a tax credit—an absolute lifesaver.
You must be accounts receivable, because I’ve been waiting for you my whole life.
Are you an internal audit? Because you’ve revealed how amazing you truly are.
I must be inventory, because my heart is turning over just thinking about you.
Are you cost accounting? Because you’re adding so much value to my life.
You must be net profit, because you’re what I’ve been working toward.
Are you tax-free? Because being with you feels like pure gain.
You’re like a clean audit opinion—rare and incredibly valuable.
Are you a CPA exam? Because I’d study you all night long.
Are you an adjusted trial balance? Because everything feels complete when you’re near.
You must be my ledger, because my life feels perfectly balanced with you in it.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Was it a work-related injury? We can sue for damages.
How'd you like to come back to my place for a little actus reus?
I'll be the accessory if you'll be the principal.
It's not about how big your gavel is, it's about how hard you bang it.
I got your jurisdiction right here.
Tomorrow morning I'll have personal jurisdiction over you because we're about to make some significant contacts.
I'd have to plead insanity if I ever left you.
How about we head back to my place, and we make a nudum pactum?
Wanna examine my brief?
I won't object to your excited utterances.
Your booty is asking for some cruel and unusual punishment.

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Are you a trial balance? Because everything feels right when you’re around.
You’re like my favorite spreadsheet—organized, efficient, and absolutely perfect.
Are you a variance report? Because you’re an unexpected surprise.